I’m thinking about joining the ‘Y’. I need to move more than my present life style allows. I used to run mile after mile on the roads in Boothbay and the Harbor. I don’t anymore. Surgeries on knee and shoulder have taken me out of circulation running-wise. I still appreciate walking and while traveling across country this past year I was able to build up speed and endurance. I enjoyed it very much.
I stopped walking when I came home in May. I just stopped. I wasn’t really into the walking on roads around my neighborhood any more. I was afraid, to be honest. Afraid of the speed of the cars and trucks flying by. I didn’t trust the drivers to avoid me so I would always stop walking and stand off the road in the weeds while they passed me. It was no longer fun; more of an adventure. You see, there are no sidewalks here and barely any shoulder. To get clear off the road one needs to find a safe footing and then place the feet there so if one needs to avoid being run down one needs to scramble.
I think what has caused the distrust is all the texting I’ve observed in recent years. Drivers are not paying attention to driving and sometimes I’ve seen all sorts of vehicles swerve suddenly and you just know that person was doing something that diverted their attention to business and caught themselves going off track.
So I’m going to the ‘Y’ on Monday to see how much it will cost me. They will charge me according to Line 37 on my 1040. Plus I’m a senior nearly twice over (kidding!). The ‘Y’ has a one eighth mile track and other self-torture devices to ride on. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I have been keenly interested in the lives of people all of my adult life. This began while I was in the Navy. I became interested while I was stationed on Guam. I had been commissioned as an officer after about 11 years as an enlisted man. I know it was all luck and privilege and by privilege I mean race, gender, height, hair, all my limbs intact.
During my tour on board a repair ship on Guam in 1971 I was notified of a ‘workshop’ being offered to interested people at a newly formed Counseling and Assistance Center (CAAC) on the Naval Base. The workshop was aimed at providing sensitivity training and information on the drug culture invading the military. The war in Vietnam gave rise to addictions and drug running in the Pacific Southeast part of the world. Servicemen and women were being inundated with exotic mixes of heroin and marijuana and methamphetamine use was taking hold as well. I attended the workshop and I was shocked at how little I was aware even though I was just 32 years old. The world was changing rapidly and I had lost touch with it due to my own addiction to alcohol and by being on sea duty since 1958. The CAAC visit opened my eyes to many issues previously unknown by me. I was not the only one. Most of my contemporaries were ignorant and out of the loop but they took a different tack than I. They ridiculed those who were interested in providing assistance and education as a response to the rising social issues. They felt uncomfortable with drug users, former addicts, cessation programs for smokers and drinkers, any sort of helping efforts. Hard liners all, they decided with great prejudice to keep their hands clean of dealing with less fortunate military members.
Well, it’s been a long road I’ve traveled. I was given collateral duties of drug abuse program officer. My primary job was Quality Assurance Officer which took a great deal of time but I truly didn’t mind all the extra duties. I enjoyed being able to assist. i also learned a lot about others and things I would never have learned otherwise. The drug culture in the 70s was quite frightening and those who were involved illegally were risk takers supreme. I kept my interest from duty station to duty station. My reputation as a fearless and knowledgeable intervenor followed me as my career continued. I gained more and more experience and ability to gently confront men (mostly) over time.
My interest in this arena culminated when I applied for and received orders to attend the Navy Drug Abuse Counseling School (NDACS) in Miramar, California. Upon graduation from NDACS I was made director of CAAC at the Naval Air Station, Miramar. What a great job that was. I had a staff of 8 people to evaluate men and women both military and civilian who were identified by management as having issues with drugs and alcohol or with behavorial issues. For the rest of my Navy career I was hereafter aligned or connected with identification and treatment of people needing help with drugs or alcohol. Remember, these activities were in addition to my regular jobs dealing with engineering or inspections of repair work on deep diving nuclear powered submarines. That is all except the job as CAAC director.
I am writing all about this phase of my life because it was an important phase of my development. I grew mentally and emotionally during the years that I was involved with agencies where I was allowed to provide assistance to others. It has paid off handsomely in my own satisfaction with life. I am a reasonably happy man.
During the past 10 years I have been involved with an organization that volunteers in prisons. They provide training through workshops to give incarcerated people the ability to communicate, identify feelings, express clearly, resolve conflicts. It’s a wonderful program and I facilitated nearly a hundred weekend workshops in prisons over a 6 year period. My years of experience have helped tremendously in connecting with the people in prisons where I have worked. Since then I have developed a program that addresses men’s issues for use in prisons as well. I developed and facilitated a 12 week pilot program in Maine State Prison two years ago with terrific results. After the pilot program was completed the prison officials got involved in matters and the program was forgotten.
i must say that I have attempted to gain access to new prison personnel for the past two years. I have been discouraged and I have given up on occasion. Just the same I have continued to call and leave messages, sometimes sporadically, but still I continued. My co-facilitator has also called and called and left messages. We have finally made contact this week.
We had a meeting with the deputy warden and he was really interested in our program and we will start in October. We have got a basic plan of who will be attending our men’s group and now we need to finish gathering the materials needed for the exercises we present. I am happy this is finally going to move again. I will let you know how it goes.
Here is a poem I wrote this morning. I hope you enjoy it. It came to me as I reflected on how I feel about returning to the prison to facilitate the group called “Peaceful Warrior”.
SPIRAL OF BEING
Way early on the energy flutters,
Eyes wide open and senses barely
able to register,
A rush too filled,
Travels and Journeys filled
with adventures that thrill
and shape.
Living the moments each
One loosely following.
The days chase after the Sun
and Moon. Noon times become
Starting times become times
for keeping score.
The flights soar but
now are lower
and slower.
Months and years blend,
Mind and body blend,
Arms and legs grow heavy,
The brain uses the past for
validation and reference.
One notices the repetitions,
Others’ actions observed,
Mortify.
The mirror reveals year by year,
Convinces the day by day-er,
Time comes to share the life of
The Daredevil, whispers secrets of the master,
Explains gravity, physics, bar codes
and mattress tags.
Age taken seriously.
The inner truth grabs hold,
Takes charge, grabs the wheel,
The inner true cools the jets
and puts all seats in the
Upright position.
The brain obeys and moderates,
The brain seeks restorative
Touch, connection.
Now the energy
Flows and fills,
Eyes lidded, narrowed, wiser,
No rush to follow, no Urgency,
Stillness and patience,
and Tolerance govern,
A life filled with mistakes and
Lessons ignored and learned.
A fright filled ride endured.
Time has new meaning,
No more day and night,
Moments are not measured,
Events are savored, friends are
Everywhere and space is precious.
Thinking is poetic, Mozart et al are now
Companions and co-conspirators,
The new way is simple, easy,
Silently
productive.
Stand and think and wonder, molt and morph
to the Mother,
Kindness, comfort, are gifts for giving,
Time is gold,
Time is treasure,
Time is all we have left,
Time to spend with those
Who have so little.
Now flight is a tight spiral in the
Present…
Always.
G. M. Goodwin
September 6, 2014
Playing Fair and Being Kind 