Playing Fair and Being Kind

For about three years I have been mindfully open to learning. That is, I’ve decided that life has its expiration date and before mine arrives I want to absorb as much as possible. In this phase of my development a major consideration is the complexity of what it is I want to absorb. The point is to absorb and to enjoy at the same time. That is the balancing act as I see it. I don’t want to laboriously continue spending time at tasks that will provide little benefit to me or my friends not do I want to be ‘head down and ass up’ while more pleasurable moments flit by on lovely wings.

A few of these new experiences include but are not limited to physical enjoyment and to casual, intellectual pleasure and to learning skills that I may want to use in gaining access to more pleasures. Specifically these are: Eating Vegan, Welding, Learning to Row (Sculling), Classical Music, Becoming Feminist, Gardening, Travel, Men’s Group, Volunteering in Prison. There are more that I am not remembering but you get the drift.

I also have learned to kill time by doing absolutely nothing at times. That has been easy but I do it now with a different attitude and with a lot less guilt.

The ability to write has been intensified by the listening to classical music that includes guitar. The easy, silky tone of the guitar accompanied by orchestra puts my mind into a place rich with imagery and its own musical place.

I want to share a piece that I wrote last April. It is a recollection from an exercise I participated in long ago in a workshop for people who were changing and becoming sensitive to other groups and cultures. See if you can guess the metaphor.

I want to include this photo took a few years back to add a woodsy feel to this post.

IN THE WOODS ON A HILLSIDE

In the woods on a hillside near Lake Symington. The lake is down the hill to my right and Green Mountain is to my left forming a wild challenge for another time. There is a well trod path beneath my feet and I am comfortably taking in my surroundings. I have just arrived at this spot because someone suggested I do so. I belong here. It is my temporary destination and I am slightly amused and ready for adventure. The path is open on both sides; deer fern line the way under a mix of second growth Douglas fir. There is a softness all around. The light, the sweet air, the lush undergrowth, the dampness and the small rivulets of water flowing next to me and over the path in low places combine to beguile. I find this place beautiful, full of grace and familiarity. Majestic more than magic it fills me with wonder.

A voice tells me to move forward so I choose a direction and walk uphill toward a more unknown destination. My director tells me I will find a selection of pottery and I do. Right there, next to this trail I am on I find a cache of old dishes and plates and bowls with a few cups thrown in for good measure. They are right there under the low growth amongst the ferns. The whole group is nearly buried in the soft moss that covers the ground here. All of the pieces appear to have cracked and crazed glazing and some are broken but not all. I gently lift a couple of the items and see they are clean, probably washed by someone decades ago and left here for future use, only the future is mine and only I can admire them. With great care I replace the pottery back into the depressions.

My eye catches a scene in miniature near where the pottery resides. I can’t help but smile and feel hilarity at the sight. It is a clear glass bottle lying on its side. Buried half into the ubiquitous moss of the forest floor its glistening crystal is cracked and broken but the shape is intact and there is something else that thrills me. The bottle is holding a miniature collection of plant life. There is a tiny garden of moss and lichen alive inside the bottle that has collected there lo the many years the thing has lain undisturbed. I need to touch this tiny treasure, to hold it and peer into the hole in the glass to see the world within. I sense something holding me that is akin to how I am holding this found object in my own hands. My mind records the scene in the bottle and I gently return it to its place.

I stand up straight and marvel at the richness of my little world. My eyes have been filled with fantastic images in just these few steps of my journey. I’m aware that my heart is softly singing and I am flooded in love. What is this place and why am I here? These questions are lost when I hear my manager tell me to look up and to record what I see.

I look up. I see the trees are growing so tall and straight their branches form a cathedral of leaves and limbs so that the sky is a pattern of blue light among the dark shapes. This covering imparts a feeling of protection as well as freedom. Although I am completely enclosed by the canopy I feel free to pass through to the outside without restraint. This is a happy place. The director of my journey suggest now that I move along to further explore this area. My steps take me upward along a trail with a few obstacles that are easily negotiated. I find this brief walk pleasurable. My attention is given easily to whatever presents during this stroll. The moss, the deer ferns which have been nibbled overnight, the darkness of the Douglas firs, the lightness of being of the aspen, all this and more as I slip along the dark floor.

The supervisory voice announces that I have come to an open field. It tells me to observe what is there. The field is in full sun and the grass is nearly knee high all the way across. There are flowers as well. They grow in harmony with the rest. My director guides my attention and I cross the field. The air is sweet with the smell of the grass heads and flowers. I feel the sun on my shoulders and back; it is comfortably warm. The field is not so large that I can’t see the other side so I take a direct route toward the opposite edge. The walk is not difficult. When I am nearly across the voice that is my conductor to this point tells me to look ahead. Do I see a fence or a wall? I see an ancient rail fence that makes a border for the field and my path.

I am directed to approach the fence and to go over it and this is the last direction I am given. This is the easiest part of the journey. I simply go to the fence and step over it. Just like that; there is a feeling of completion and accomplishment. I enjoyed my walk through the woods and across the field. I saw lovely things and I was able to reflect on the experiences along the way. I was not rushed. There were enough periods of rest so that I was refreshed as I traveled. I leave feeling genuinely satisfied with this image and it has been my companion since.

G. M. Goodwin