I completed my visit to North Carolina to visit my granddaughter Hannah. We had a great visit. My son Sam joined in for a few days as well. Hannah and Sam are close enough in age that they are good pals and I’ve recognized this so I stay in the background as much as possible and watch them have love-filled fun.
The SAAB, Beastie II, ran like a top. It is a good car and will serve me for a long time. I arrived back in Maine on Tuesday morning the 6th of October. I needed to rest for a few day to catch up energy wise and then I had an important date to meet with a friend to determine if we wanted to start dating. We met for lunch and I thought it went well but that lasted for about twelve hours. Doubts crept in and my insides became a battle ground for fear, doubt, and insecurity. I was not able to reconcile my needs for privacy and independence with my needs for company and affection. As a result I contacted my friend and informed her of the conflict and my decision to not go forward into this relationship. Thus…
After this event I focused on continuing the repairs to my house and reconnecting with my vegan meetup friends. I went to the movies and saw Black Mass with Johnny Depp about Whitey Bulger. Two day later I saw another with pal Grace. We went to see Learning to Drive with Patricia Clarkson. Both flicks were good entertainment.
I attended a vegan meetup that focused on sports nutrition and plant based diet. It was fun and I made a few connections that will be interesting to develop in the future.
I decided to use up the apples I pulled off the trees two weeks ago. I love apple pie so that is what I attempted. I’ve made pies before but it’s been a few years.The pies came out poorly but edible. I’ll have to review the process and see how to correct this. I have many more apples to use so wish me luck.
I’ve thinking about travel again. I like New Mexico up around Santa Fe in the hills just to the south. I have established good connections there and I may take advantage of these in February. I want to go to New Orleans as well to see Pat. She is one of my favorite people. Another travel thought circulating through my head involves going to Spain. That will be an adventure. I would like to do the El Camino trek. It is a pilgrimage with many optional trails and distances. I will meet with a friend’s wife who just completed the adventure, in order for me to gain inside knowledge.
I’ve been writing a bit and some of my stuff is leading me to short story writing. I have so much material I think that is where I should focus my activity. Here is a story I wrote last Spring while I was in southern California. I hope you like it and I hope your day as beautiful as this day here in Boothbay. Peace out.
ROADSIDE CROSSES
New Mexico sanctions the placement of crosses along public highways. The crosses locate the points on earth where loved ones have left us; mostly as the result of traffic accidents. The crosses are typically decorated with plastic flowers and other memorabilia. Crosses placed for children have stuffed toys. The sites marking the placements are tended to regularly. All the variations of cross design and size and material and style of floral arrangements deeply interest me. The only thing in common with all the styles and placements was that a grieving person had pushed the cross into the earth.
During my travels I have grown more interested in these sites. They are indicators of a culture dear to me and an intensity of love for those who have passed. So much can be read into the words, flowers, shape and material of the cross placements. I have been having trouble collecting the words I need to adequately describe in verse or prose what these alters mean to me personally. I have struggled with the meanings and the symbolism. I am affected by the sites to the point of picking out the similarities and the subtle differences but I cannot put words onto paper to describe these feelings.
Two nights ago as I lay in the back of my car at a campground in Borrego Springs, California. I was still struggling with the alter descriptions and the emotions they elicited in me. The rain was falling on the roof of the SAAB and I pictured the mountains surrounding the area where I had pitched my tent. I was not able to sleep in the tent this night because the wind was wild and making the tent snap and shake too much. I was lying there in a comfortable position and dreamily wondering how to write about the crosses. The rain continued to fall and I knew the land, the flora, the fauna outside the car were listening to the same sounds. Listening and thinking; my imagination wove a scene, a series of events.
Lying there listening to the rain hitting the roof and the windows and the ground near the car I imagined the mountains sitting solidly in a row between the desert floor where I was lying dreamily and the Pacific ocean fifty miles of so to the west. I created a mental image of the mountains sheltering the desert from the ocean waves crashing against the continent. I saw the ocean waves growing in size and power and continuing to grow and crash and then I experienced the waves crashing directly against the tops of the mountains and splashing over into the desert and over my car and flooding the flat desert and washing the car with me in it across the desert and flooding the land. The flood of ocean was freely spreading across the open land down slope toward the Salton Sea one hundred and fifty feet below sea level. I rolled over and over inside the car with the ocean outside rushing toward the Salton Sea with me and the coyotes, jack rabbits, road runners and rattle snakes, cacti and the sand and rocks from the desert floor all in a wonderful soup.
Inside the back of my car I experienced the emotion of the roadside crosses I’d been seeking. The small, simple crosses pushed into the earth in grief and despair that grows from helplessness and accident entered my life through my imagination of being out of control. Making the connection was a lesson in learning to live in the moment with no regret. There is so much available to me if I listen to all that is around. I was grateful for the images because then I had a story written in my head and I only had to edit it slightly.
G. M. Goodwin
3 March 2015
Playing Fair and Being Kind 