I’ve written just a little bit about “approximation” before. It was on October 4th, 2017. You can look it up by using the archives piled up over there on the right. The idea of approximation is common amongst us all. We all do it. Sometimes it’s appropriate and other times not at all. To have fun with an idea or skill it is probably o.k. to approximate a skill or language for spontaneity if the fun is temporary and just for kicks. But to really use a skill or language for longer term reasons it is not o.k. to approximate. That would be counter-productive.
Bill Evans, my favorite pianist, has been recorded on video (see YouTube) discussing learning with his older brother Harry Evans. Harry was a music composer who lived and taught in Baton Rouge. In the video link below they discuss approximation.
I watched this video last year and occasionally since. The concept of approximation is fascinating to me. I know now why I have not been successful in some of my attempts at learning during my life. I also know what it is that makes me a good group facilitator in prison groups/settings. Before we get into any specifics let’s look at this quote of Bill Evans from the video:
“The person that succeeds in anything has the realistic viewpoint at the beginning and [knows] that the problem is large and that he has to take it a step at a time.”
Being able to apply patience and effort focussed on any subject is a luxury not available to everyone. A broad statement, but one that if seen in light of how ADD and ADHD are prevelant in our population explains why many of us take shortcuts in attempts to gain knowledge and skills. It just doesn’t work. But like Harry tries to convince Bill in the video one cannot abandon the fun of just messing around with something. Bill properly agrees with Harry and also restates the axiom stated above, “The person that succeeds in anything…”. One cannot just wing it or fake it and build on that if trying to improve.
A few days ago I was sitting waiting for a group of prison inmates to join me and a few others for a workshop. It was a weekend workshop and the process requires there be at least six to eight participants in order to provide enough interaction to succeed. At this point in time there were only four participants and one other man in the room who had decided that he would not participate because he had “made up my mind and when I make up my mind it stays that way”. He had decided to not attend in protest and that was that.
I said to him, while the others in the room were present and listening, “I would not ever ask you to change your mind but if by chance, while we are sitting here together, you do get the idea that it might be o.k. to change your mind I would not find fault or ever think any less of you for doing that and deciding to join us in this workshop.” I knew he would not change his mind and that would be o.k. with me. What I was doing was sending a message to him and all the rest of the people in the room that this situation was a bother to me and that I was still o.k. with what he was doing and I respected him as is. The message was for anyone listening that to have a strong sense of justice and determination was perfectly o.k. and that it was o.k not to cave under pressure from a respected person (me). It was o.k. to change your mind as well. Changing one’s mind does not signal defeat or weakness but signals the ability to join forces with others to make a different situation workable. All of these thoughts were in my head because many years ago, forty five years to be exact, I decided I wanted to learn how to be a good facilitator and I had the realistic expectation in the beginning and knew the problem was large and I had to take learning the skills a step at a time.
We had to cancel the workshop for lack of participants and that was grist for another new learning experience.
I want to thank Maria Popova and her blog http://www.brainpickings.org for inspiring this revisit to “Approximation”. Visit her award winning blog. It is a treat.
Peace out,
G. M. Goodwin
25 March 2018
Playing Fair and Being Kind 