Playing Fair and Being Kind

Patient Portal
Goldberg, Stanley d.o.b. 02-19-1945

SG: I got myself into a jam with this refill. I have only 6 tablets left and this is Friday so I fear that the refill order from Dr. Ronan will not reach the pharmacy until Monday and then I will have only 3 tablets left. What to do, what to do? The other refill is atorvastatin Rx# 31649120. This one is not as urgent. I have about two weeks still in the jug. I’ve already called the refill line and left notes that both need refill orders from Dr. Ronan and for them to call him.
Thanks,
s

Hi Stanley, I have refilled your atorvastatin to the mail order pharmacy for a year supply (90 days with 3 refills). I have also refilled your Xarelto the same, but in order to keep you from going without, I have sent a 2-week supply to your local pharmacy (Rite Aid in Midcity). Does this plan work okay for you?
Denise, RN

SG: You are an angel! Good work! This will work perfectly.
Thank you,
s

Have a great weekend, Stanley! By the way, I’m just curious. I think I may know you. Are you the same Stanley Goldberg who used to live in Port Washington? He would be about your age.
Denise, RN

That was a long time ago. Maybe 1979. How do you know me?
s

I lived in Great Neck but I worked in New Hyde Park. I was doing Shiatsu then.
Denise

Wait! Denise? When did you change from “Spring Blossom” to Denise? I thought you gave up your identity.
g

Oh, fuck you, Stanley! That was long, long ago. I’m back to Denise. That was in the seventies for cripes sake. I was a naturalist shiatsu healer and I worked for Sandy.

Yeah, yeah. I remember now. A real quack-job, wasn’t he? That was a mixed-up period of my life. You still have your potty-mouth, eh?

You prick. Sandy was an Iridologist; certified, by the way. What did you do? Get refined all of a sudden?

No, Spring. I grew the fuck up.

Yeah, you chased me and fucked me and then you dumped me. Not before you gave me the crabs. You still owe me for all the cleaning I had to do. It took me three fucking days to wash everything.

That’s bullshit. Your husband gave you the crabs and you gave them to me. Norman was not the dummy you thought he was. He was a traveling salesman for fucks sake! He brought the crabs home with him. I was sleeping with you and maybe one other woman. She was very clean and she had a fiancé. Norman is the culprit, Spring, and you know damn well he is.

You fucker…that is not so. Norman was an angel!

What!! Norman was a simpleton! Norman was not a dumb as he looked! Norman got everything that he wanted! I’ll tell you who was another culprit in your world was Sandy. What a freak show he was! You convinced me to get an eye exam from him and it cost me nearly a thousand dollars. What a bunch of shit you guys fed the general population. The only thing good I got from you was that ten-day fast. Was Sandy fucking you?

What difference does that make? I had a brief affair when I started working for him, yeah.

You mean you screwed him to get the job.

Oh, fuck you, Stanley! How about that chick, what’s her name? Carol Ann something.

She was a good kid. I was really attracted to her but we only slept together once.

You are such a fucking liar! She was the reason we broke up. You told me…

Oh, come on, Spring! You were married and following the guru what’s his name.

Gu Maharaj Ji.

That’s him, yeah. What a goddamn joy ride that was. We had a lot of fun in New York. I didn’t like that guy John though.

John?

Yeah. John was the head disciple in the City. I went to meet him to receive devine vision down in the Village and he asked me if I was an agent of the law.

Why did he ask you that?

Probably because I wasn’t a twenty-something with a snotty nose.

Well, you were older.

That was it, for sure.

How are you now?

I’m good. I had a heart attack a few years ago. I got a stent.

You’re healthy otherwise?

Fuck yeah. You know me. Iron Man. I had two bouts with pulmonary embolism. Nearly died. No big deal. I think dying will be easy.

Stanley! Don’t say that shit!

O.k. You’re right. So, I’m all set with the Xarelto and the atorvastatin?

You should be. Is there anything else?

No. I guess that’s it.

Well, okay. Have a great weekend, like I said.

Thanks, Denise. Be well.

Stanley, make sure you delete all this.

I will. Thanks for the reminder.

G. M. Goodwin
15 June 2019