Playing Fair and Being Kind

I’m watching the 2016 Olympic Women’s Marathon. I loved to run when I could. For me, there is nothing like the wind in my face and the feeling of power passing from my brain to the road through my body. Similar to a walking meditation; like a private ceremony with grand ritual and precious moments of adoration for the self this activity was what kept me together. Kept me moving and living long enough to let the years pass into each other, telescoping to today.

I began running in 1971 while stationed at the Naval Weapons Station in Charlston on the Cooper River. Flat and remote on a road that passed through hidden, underground bunkers stuffed with nuclear war heads in a place resembling the backdrop for a Tarzan movie I ran daily to clear my anxious self of fears, doubts, and insecurities. I never sobered up the whole time in those days. I drank daily and often could not drive home from work. I’d stop at the Fan Tail, a bar in Red Bank, and drink until I couldn’t walk and then drive home to Ladson. I was 32 years old and a wreck. Over matched by marriage, fatherhood, job, life. It would take another six years of this kind of existence before I found recovery and sobriety.

In 1977 I finally got sober. I attended AA meetings and it was there that I met one of my best ever life friends Mary Roehr. I was 38 years old then and Mary was 70. I asked Mary to sponsor me in AA. She needed to be convinced but she eventually agreed. We had a wonderful friendship and through her I learned about tolerance and patience for myself and, ultimately, for others.

Mary had a great deal of sobriety at the time; 15 years. I barely had 30 days. She’d tell me stories of great import to my recovery. One story she told me had more impact on my progress. It was just part of adding humor to the life of alcoholism but also helped me to identify with the way I thought about alcohol. I’ll tell it the best I can.

The was an advertising board meeting at J&B headquarters. About a dozen or so men were seated around a large table deciding on an ad slogan. While the meeting was in session there was an older man, a janitor, quietly cleaning up some debris from a previous repair job. He was paying attention to the proceedings but staying in the background. The meeting finally reached a conclusion with the board agreeing on the slogan “J.&B. It whispers.” The board members began to adjourn. While they were exiting the room the janitor approached the chairman and privately informed him that “J.&B. doesn’t whisper. It goes BOOM! ”

I understood the story of course. Every drink I took was BOOM!

The Women’s Marathon is half over and I love watching these longer distance events. I was a fast runner in my youth. I discovered how to let my body run without thinking about it after the first two or three steps. The body is a wonderful machine that can respond faster than we can think. Here is a poem I wrote some time ago. I watched a documentary about cheetahs and while observing the animal running I noticed the point where the action shifts in high gear. It made me think of my own experience. Here it is. Have a lovely day and get outside if you can. Peace out.

THE CHEETAH

What must it be like

To move so fast

The mind

Loses

The ability to connect

The dots flying by.

In basic training

So long ago,

I experienced the pounding,

Gliding, flying

As my body smooth

As a vee twelve,

Overtook and passed

On a sixty yard dash,

That brief race event,

Gave me a rush

At the start of each race,

My body so tense,

Pounded out of the blocks

In just a few steps

I felt the gears mesh

Engaging together,

Ensued overtaking,

With each stride gone by,

Out of control,

Unable to slow,

I, just

A mind with two legs,

Blurring and churning

Myself past the others,

Like a universe opening

Before me

Me

At the center of

A galaxy blooming in

High speed animation,

The bodies disappear

From peripheral view,

Drawing astern

And in a few strides

I cross the line

Automatically cutting

Power to my engine,

There I am standing,

My mind in full glory,

Victory!

What a marvelous rush!

Scores of years ago…

It takes longer now

To get out of my chair.

G. M. Goodwin