HUGGING VS. HANDSHAKING
Things have changed over the years for me regarding hugs and handshakes. To be brief; hugging has moved from an unique way to greet and in the beginning it was a sign of intimacy and gradually slipped toward trust and affection. Handshakes were generally considered a sign of greeting and politeness.
In my later years I detect my hugs are more automatic/blah over half the time but handshakes have become the gold standard of trust and sincerity. The handshakes are accompanied with a definite eye contact and expression that conveys, hopefully, the promise of respect.
One very recent event supports this observation. A very dear friend with whom I share heartbreaks and who is a beginning writer met me for lunch (minus the actual eating part). We sat on a bench on a sidewalk in the sun of a Californian afternoon in an elegant small village we both know fairly well. The setting was perfect. Our talk led us to many common agreements and comforting validations. We bonded. And then we parted company.
She drove me to my address just five minutes or so away. I felt really good with our experience. When we parted company I stuck my hand out. She took it but her gaze looked confused, I’m not sure. It was only for an instant. Still she took my hand and we shook firmly and warmly. Her expression shifted to one of love and respect. I noted the shift and recorded it as a successful completion of a task that led toward building a closer relationship with her.
I still value hugs as a moment of caring but to me the handshake is really taking me over. I feel the level of respect jumps and I am left with a new acceptance and dignity. We’ll see where it goes. For now I am happy with the new discovery.
G. M. Goodwin
28 March 2017
Playing Fair and Being Kind 
The French do not hug but prefer exchanging cheek kisses. I prefer to keep hugs for friends and family. The handshake, for me, is reserved for business and meeting new people. Am I the only one? : ) Greetings from the Wild West! Hugs! : ))
I think there are differences between groups and genders and some based on trauma/experience.
Nice to hear from you, Lee. Hugs!!! g
I enjoyed this one, made me think about the ‘hug’ … I am a hugger, I even hug my team of service people (carpenter, plumber, etc.). hand shakes to strangers or new contacts.
The jury is still out on this one for me, Nancylee. I may have shifted my focus a little; my respect for gender has been twisted and re-shaped because now I have gender-fluid and trans people to consider. To have lived long enough to need new considerations is a gift I did not anticipate in the 50’s.