Playing Fair and Being Kind

I have a plan in place and I’m just about ready to spring it. The washer needs fixin’. The ‘cold’ is plugged up and takes forever to fill the tub. First I have to get out of this recliner. I’m ready to spring into action but this recliner remains stuck to my backside. Soon’s I get this thing written I’m going to get up and move, I swear!

I got a call from one of the lawyers I called yesterday in Georgia. They will represent me in McIntosh County Court on the 14th of this month and get my speeding charge reduced and there will be no record on anything documented anywhere that I was doing 78 in a 60. It’ll cost me four hundred and some simoleons. Considering my driving habits since I started traveling this great land of ours I’m feeling lucky. That four hundred includes the lawyer fee and all.

So I’ve taken a few minutes, maybe a few more than just a few, and put it down on paper in a poem. I wrote in a Mainer vernacular. See it below. Meanwhile enjoy this picture of the Georgia State Police.

FIVES ON SIXES

Whadda ya want fuh dinnah?

Ahm hungry – I think Ah cuddeat,

You gutta move there,

We gut some ‘merican chopsooy left,

’nuffer two,

You gut them fahvs,

See’m?

Might get some greens outta the yahd,

Bigga nuf ta pick,

T’maters ain’t ready,

Shurwish we had mama’s meatloaf,

Gawd, Ah kin taste it…

Shurwuz sum good!

You gut them fahvs,

See’m?

Fahvs on sixes,

Move the King.

That guy frum the law’yers’n McIntosh County called,

The ticket cost me four hunert an sum’mm,

That ottah kill us fer a whahl.

Fuck’in staties,

Fuck’in law’yrs.

Fuckit!

Ahm goin to the stoah.

Seeya inna bit.

Ya need’ny bee’ah?

G. M. Goodwin

6 June 2017