Playing Fair and Being Kind

Subtitle could be: Playing Fair and Being Kind is Paying Off. I am just about recovered from that 30 hour dash to D.C. from Boothbay and back just before facilitating a 3 day AVP workshop at Maine State Prison. This schedule tends to put me in an isolating mood for a few days after. I am finally productive again. I wrote my report for the AVP workshop this morning. For those who don’t know, AVP is Alternatives to Violence Project. See http://www.avpusa.org  I also have scheduled the workshops for the next two months and I am preparing to talk to the Warden regarding beginning a weekly workshop for incarcerated veterans. I’m back on my game. Yeah!

This past workshop I was challenged, actually not me but it was my presentation of the “I Message” used to initiate dialog relating to conflict resolution. All along I have been made aware of the shallow thinking involved with the “I Message”. One needs to be well bred and financially secure and probably a member of the oppressor group in a society to be able to take the time to leisurely form a statement that resembles the model “I Message”. The message goes like this: When this (observable event) happened, I felt (accurate feeling word) because (of past experiences) and what I need is (something that is attainable with the help of the other party). I’ve actually used this format and it has worked with some of my associates and occasionally with people in a workshop. But mostly it is a maddening mouthful for someone in conflict to listen to from someone who is apparently unhappy with a situation involving you. The normal response from someone in the oppressed class is, “Fuck you! Get out of my face!”

So I had to back up and restate my position with the formula of Event, Feeling, Need, and Co-operative Strategy. The teaching/learning moment part with just a smidgen of satisfaction. The next day at the beginning of the first session of the workshop I had to revisit the subject with the group and what I told them was this.
“Whatever the conflict and with whomever is the other party it is imperative to use the formula in order to advance toward conflict resolution. What is said is up to you and your relationship with the other party. What you do and say and however long it takes, the fact remains that these things need to happen to resolve the situation. You need to express yourself clearly, state your feelings and needs, and address a cooperative strategy to get along to prevent violence from resulting from the conflict”.
And that is the whole truth. Otherwise all one can do it pretend the slight/conflict never happened or just shine it on. Pass it off with a joke and move along.

I signed up for some on-line courses. They were courses to learn and adopt the philosophy of Paulo Freire. I love his teachings and I have a problem with concentration when studying that involves reading and sometimes listening. This inability has followed me forever. It is the reason I did poorly in school as a child/young adult and it continues. Alas. It is not in the cards for me to easily read and learn. I don’t know the answer. I am disappointed with this situation and I just keep trying different ways to get information into my head. My best method is on the job training. That is how I got where I am today. I have learned best by watching and practicing. That may be the only answer there is. I’ll take it for now.

Yesterday I unloaded the peach tree in the front yard. It was a bumper crop and a few branches broke they were so loaded with fruit. I am a bit lazy with storing fruit away for future use. I did do the right thing a few years back. I picked the peaches and scalded them in hot water to peel the skins. Then I cut them into slices and froze them in plastic bags in my freezer. That is a lot of work for someone who looks for the fastest least work intensive methods. This year I Googled the “easiest way to freeze peaches”. The happiest thing happened. A solution appeared and I jumped all over it! Freeze the whole peaches in the freezer on a tray. When they are frozen solid take them out and place them in freezer bags then put them back in the freezer. I’ve done it once with one batch and they are now in bags in the freezer and I have a second batch freezing on trays. I am happy with this new method. It does what I need.

I picked a large mixing bowl filled with peaches and gave some to my neighbor, Claudia. Then I called Angel Ames and she and her son came by and picked the remaining ones. A good time was had by all, as the saying goes.

So I will end this posting and include a poem I wrote at the end of the AVP workshop on last Sunday. This poem comes from the prompt “A place I am from…”. The words trigger a lot of emotions in many of us. I hope your day is lovely. I hope the people of Houston and those parts are getting better treatment from Mother Nature. Take care and stay involved. Peace. G. M. Goodwin 31 August 2017

A PLACE I AM FROM…

A place I am from is a dark memory,
A place I am from formed my opinions,
A place I am from sent me looking for life,
A place I am from gave the world an adventure,
I traveled far and searched for comfort,
I searched for comfort and found more adventure,
I found adventure as well as terror and death,
Through these discoveries I learned the value of
The place I am from,
The place I am from is no longer a dark memory.

G.M. Goodwin 27 August 2017