I didn’t go to the authorities right away. I lived with the anger, sleaze, resentment, disgust, and fear for a long time. Even after I approached the new Executive Officer of a nuclear submarine I was assigned to in 1960, three years after the incident, I was still not free of any guilt-feeling or fear of exposure that might jeopardize my position in the top-secret work I was entrusted with.
The executive officer did not know what to do. That was obvious to me. He seemed to support doing nothing. Probably not going to be an issue down the road type of defense. I felt better for going on record but I realized there was no avenue for me clear my head about it. I was left in sleaze limbo. This was not something I could just grow-up about.
I’ve been following the Brett Kavanaugh allegations for the past few weeks. It dawned on me this morning after reading a quote by an elected official in Arizona. The quote is in regard to Trump’s criticizm of the women not reporting the offenses against them.
Republican Congresswoman Martha McSally said, ““A lot of people who have not been through this — thank God they have not been through this — don’t understand that a lot of us don’t immediately go to law enforcement”.
I didn’t go to anyone in the chain of command for over three years. I only went because I learned that the FBI was doing background checks on us due to the nature of our jobs on the new submarines being built. At this time in my Navy career the perpetrator was stalking me still from far away. He continued to send letters for nearly five years after the incident. I was a target holding an unwelcome secret. Many people who are victimized carry the secret and fear of exposure like I did. Eventually the predator stopped writing. If I saw him today I believe I would want to kill him. I’m sure I would be afraid to.
I believe the women who come forward. All of them.*
Peace out,
G. M. Goodwin
1 October 2018
* I say “women” because they are the focus in our world of disbelief. For some reason men are believed more readily. That is a topic for another discussion.
Playing Fair and Being Kind 
George, you are a brave man to have reported the assault, and to write about it today. I’m sorry you were stalked and assaulted. You didn’t deserve that. I’m also sorry that the “systems” for reporting and prosecuting are broken. That sucks.
The assault happened in 1957. I reported it in 1961. I think things have improved in regard to the reporting.
I don’t know if they have improved,but they still suck. Hospital rape kits are stacked up for years without being processed. 99% of rapists are not convicted.
It’s a white man thing.
“A topic for another discussion.” More like a maelstrom, sweeping throughout our nation, (and around the planet), exposing everyone in its wake. “Me too.”
Depending on which side of the situation one finds one’s self. Lots to ponder in this era.