I don’t want to lose any more children. I don’t have any control of this. I lost Mark a year ago and now Scot is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. The doctors informed his wife that he has less than six months left. Loss. Loss and grief are so damned hard. Life holds so much… I don’t know what to call it. Loss, pain, grief, sadness, anxiety, fear. My mind goes over things. Love, regret, guilt, more love and then all around the circle again.
My father did a suicide when I was nineteen years old. My mother was part of a triple homicide when I was an adult. That was thirty-six years ago. In between all of these tragedies I attempted to live a culturally normal life. Didn’t happen. I failed at a lot of things in my youth, in my young adult life, and a lot more later on. I had good things happen. I can count them on one hand. I have learned that the total score of good, bad, and so-so can be simply written and underscored and titled “life”.
I hope your day has been a good one today. If not I am sorry it wasn’t.
Be well. Wear a mask. The Covid variance is a bitch I hear.
Gentle George
24 July 2021
Playing Fair and Being Kind 
As you have filtered in and out of my life – you have been very special – always showing up when I most needed a friend. Thinking of you today and often.
Beautiful and elegant words, Lynne. Your words are reflective of your own loveliness. Thank you, dear friend.
Stuff happens …. For sure, I find the major events are always unexpected, even when we think we know what’s coming… your never ready for it…. Your right, ‘that’s Life!”
I can’t think of anyone more married to my life than you, Nancylee. We were together from the beginning, when we were little and innocent. I remember those moments. I love you always.
I just found this today. So sorry about Scot. Grief is tough.
You have always been someone I look up to because you take adversity and transform it into kindness and graciousness. You’re a wonderful human being. You done good.
Thank you, Lynne. Scot lingers still. He is now in the Hospice part of Togus VA Hospital. He mostly sleeps. I have stopped visiting him as I was not able to maintain a sense of connection with him as he is. It’s more complicated than I can describe.