Playing Fair and Being Kind

The human side of us is our deadliest friend. No where else can I remember meeting up with such a cruel killer of happiness, serenity, peace. Our inside person is all of this and more. Fold in a bit of hard-of-hearing and disaster awaits just around the corner of our souls.

I’m talking about the situations that we think we experience and then obsess over them until the outside of us exactly mirrors the inside. We become ragged and slovenly, mussed-up and unkempt, smelly and sour. Nowhere else in this whole goddam world could we go to find such a sack of scrawny shit. We may as well pull all the shades down, put on a blindfold, and crawl under the bed. And stay there!

Meanwhile the world goes on unaware of our horrible mistaken identities and wrongly ascribed personalities. Thus, we have two worlds. The one we mentally inhabit and the other more real and life-like. How we are able to form ourselves into sad and suffocating schmucks so quickly is unbelievable. Don’t ask me to describe the mechanics of it all, I just know it takes only a few heartbeats to go from engaged human to someone who is all torn-to-pieces and lower than whale shit. Gloom and doom and small-size, low-life, lower dwelling non-human. In nothing flat!

There is no easy answer. And, if there is I don’t know where or how to find it. By the time we are aware that this is who we are we have already planned, fabricated, and polished this aspect of ourselves to perfection! Then we find out we did it to ourselves. Well, maybe with a little help from people just like us. The only way I know to bring an episode of “I suck and no one is more disgusting” is to enjoy the damn thing until it feels to close to real and done. Then it may be time to shake it loose and move along until it comes on us again.

I’m with you, Darlin’. I feel it. I feel you. It is very human to get a visit from this part of our ego system. Just don’t believe the mutha-fucka a hundred percent. It will come for a visit and then it will disappear just as quick as it showed up. I guess the only thing I know what to do is sit or lie still and inhale and then exhale. Do this mindfully and in a little while the world moves wider, longer, and deeper until it all fits together again. I hope your episode doesn’t last too long. I love you and I know you know that. ILY-sgdm!

Peace, Sister. Peace.